Aug 11
15
Learn to Ask For & Receive Help: There’s No Reason to Go It Alone!
One of the hardest lessons for me to learn–but one that changed my life profoundly–was the importance of asking for and receiving help.
As a career and business strategist, I work every week with mostly mid- to senior-level professionals from around the U.S. on career changes, launching and marketing small businesses and identifying, finding and creating work that is a fit for them inside and out.
Hands down, people who are comfortable asking for and receiving help–whether from a coach, therapist, mentor, professional organization, business partner or colleague–experience greater success and feel more connected and confident at home and at work.
Having a support system can have a huge impact on how you experience day-to-day life. Research shows that individuals who have robust support systems:
- Are more effective at work and at home (they feel as if they have a “team” behind them and that they’re not all alone).
- Keep resolutions, particularly those involving their health and physical well-being.
- Weather personal and professional challenges more easily.
- Are less likely to feel overwhelmed and find it easier to maintain perspective.
- Stay healthier on all levels–mentally, physically and emotionally.
- Are less likely to feel isolated (isolation can lead to feelings of despair and failure).
- Experience less stress and burnout.
- Have children who are comfortable asking for and receiving support and help from others.
This month, I challenge you to give yourself the gift of support (one of the kindest forms of self-care). Set aside 30 minutes to work on the
following exercise, designed to help you build your personal support network. Afterward, share your completed support wheel with a friend or family member, and take action.
Instructions: Draw a large circle and visualize yourself standing in the middle. Divide your circle–or “support wheel”–into four categories: self, work/community, family/marriage and household. Create your personal support network by filling in the four quadrants as needed. (Refer to the list below for ideas or come up with your own list.)
A few things to keep in mind when creating your support network:
- Everyone’s support system will look different; this is about what you need to feel fully supported where you are right now.
- Your support system will change depending on your life stage, current needs and the age of your children and your parents (if you’re involved in their care, as well).
- Choose friends/colleagues whom you admire for their experience/insight and enlist the support of those whose lives reflect the values/beliefs you admire. Your support system may not include your family members–they are only one of many resources.
- Consider how to turn this support wheel into something you’ll use every day. For example, it might be a list of phone numbers you keep at arm’s reach or a visual chart on your bulletin board in your office or kitchen.
Your personal support system is not limited to, but may include:
- Professional/personal mentors
- Professional development and networking organizations
- Professional or skills-based teachers, instructors or trainers
- Work/life balance, business or career coach, or groups such as Self -Renewal Groups for Women.
- Professional peers/colleagues
- Friends with kids and friends without kids
- Neighbors
- Play groups or social groups specifically for parents
- Parenting education groups/activities/instruction/support
- Babysitting co-ops (start one in your neighborhood)
- Child-care providers and pediatricians
- Social or creative groups such as book or hobby groups
- Therapist, counselor and support groups
- Spiritual mentors, groups or a community
- Financial consultants or advisors
- Online support communities, teleclasses, etc.
- Family members
- Meal co-ops (start one in your neighborhood) and meal-delivery programs
- Personal concierge or errand service
- Home care/cleaning and yard care help
- Bodywork and health specialists (physicians, chiropractors, acupuncturists)
- Menopause/hormone health specialists, nutritionists, personal trainers, massage therapists
