May 10
5
Lessons on being resilient
Our aging parents face all sorts of challenges as they grow older:
- A simple illness can wreak havoc on a compromised immune system.
- A fall can result in a broken hip and extensive rehab.
- The loss of a spouse can result in quick onset of depression.
The 3 challenges I’ve listed are more common than you may think. So, what is it that causes certain older persons to bounce back quickly and others to struggle? This week I met Mary, an incredible 92 year old lady. I want to share some of the lessons I learned from her, lessons that offer insight into why some elderly are “resilient people”. Perhaps one of Mary’s tips is just what your parent needs to hear.
This lovely lady lives in her own apartment in Senior housing with Social Security as her only source of income. She is, at first glance, a petite and feisty lady, dressed all in purple, including her purple beret. She flashes her smile and shares a lifetime of joy, pain and incredible experiences. As I listened to her stories of childhood abuse, loss of her only child and the death of 2 husbands, I was struck by how she rapidly moved beyond all that to her life today. Here are the lessons she shared:
- Have a deep faith and go to church. She said it was her faith that sustained her through the years. When she can’t get to church, she gathers her neighbors in her apartment, and they have their own worship service there. She declares that whatever happens, God will see her through it.
- Ignore gossip and do not focus on health problems. She said she cannot tolerate gossip. If it starts, she walks away. Nor does she have time for constant complaints about aches and pains. She is too interest in world affairs. She still works as an inspector at the voting polls. She asked me why our Senator Evan Bayh is leaving the Senate, and she wanted an answer!
- Stay connected with others. She stays connected with all those in her neighborhood and in her church. She said she loves being around the children and young people. In fact, she seems to enjoy their company more than her peers.
- Keep learning. She has an inquiring mind. She doesn’t ramble on about her own life. She wants to know about everyone else’s life. And she believes in forever-learning. This summer she is taking her first computer course and is excited about finally getting on-line.
- Be solution-oriented. For Mary, there is no problem that can’t be solved. I do believe she was assertive long before the word “assertive” was commonplace. She believes in hard work and doing the right thing. I know she will be living her life that way until her last breath. What an inspirational lady!
After an hour with this incredible little lady, I wanted to just bottle up her enthusiasm and love of life. But, I’ve done the next best thing by sharing her tips with you. I hope you’ll share this article with your aging parent, family and family. Pass it on!
